Why blame

With this warning, Corleone knows that it is not in the interest of the other Dons to make the wrong move. Therefore, if Michael does end up dying, then we should believe that the other Dons are not responsible. Nevertheless, in order to assure their good behaviour, it is critical that Don Corleone blame them anyway. What do Don Corleone's threats have to do with the experimental choice task described in the scenario above?

Blaming others when you know that they could not possibly be responsible for the outcome is even more unreasonable than Don Corleone's behaviour.

How can this behaviour be explained? We have the mental health services you need to deal with tendencies related to blaming others. Schedule an appointment at our comfortable Manhattan offices, or book an online therapy session and our mental health counselors can help you avoid blaming others and begin to take responsibility. So why do people blame others? Go Back.

Share via. Copy Link. Powered by Social Snap. Copy link. Copy Copied. They may also seem to do nothing yet hold a grudge that comes out in a long series of unhelpful acts.

There can also be an unwanted conditioning effect where the underlying assumption that the blamed person is bad leads to them believing this, resulting in them continuing to act in a bad way. Quotes Guest articles Analysis Books Help. More Kindle book s: And the big paperback book.

Look inside. Please help and share:. More Kindle book s:. Home Top Menu Quick Links. Badness One explanation we tell ourselves when we blame others is because they are bad. So why do we still blame? Status We have a deep need for a sense of identity , and one way we do this is through social comparison , contrasting ourselves against others. Projection Another reason for blame is that we feel bad about something and want to get rid of the bad feeling, so we project that feeling at others.

Explaining When something goes wrong, our deep need to explain what caused the problem to occur is triggered. Defending When we feel that we are under attack, we may use blaming as a method of defending ourselves.

Attacking Sometimes we blame others less because we are moving attention away from ourselves and more because we specifically want to attack others. Conditioning In conditioning , a stimulus is paired with an action in order to motivate. Site Menu. Some of the basic tools of learning organizations come into play here-the ladder of inference, for example, can be used to create a conversation of inquiry rather than inquisition.

The accountability conversation is also the perfect setting for practicing left-hand column skills to surface assumptions blocking honest and productive discourse. In addition, admitting the tendency to. Distinctions between blame and accountability blame may provide a way through some defensive routines. Chris Argyris gives an excellent and realistic picture of an accountability conversation in Knowledge for Action Jossey-Bass, Find out whether the person you are working with is interested in seeing problems as learning opportunities.

If so, when a problem occurs, include other people who are also interested in the situation. How people talk about one another in an organization affects the levels of accountability and trust. Often, because people are reluctant to discuss accountability issues directly, they go to a third party to relieve their discomfort and get support for their point of view.

The complaint does not get resolved this way, however, although the person with the complaint gains some relief. Bringing a complaint to a third party to clarify a situation can be a much more productive alternative. Tony complains to Robin that Lee is unreliable.

Robin sympathizes with Tony and agrees that Lee is unreliable. Tony and Robin now feel closer because they share this point of view.

Lee does not yet know that Tony has a complaint. Over time, all of these relationships will erode. What is the alternative to this kind of dysfunctional blaming and resentment? The solution is a deep commitment on the part of all these people to work through their reluctance to give and receive difficult feedback. In addition, they need to learn how to hold one another accountable in an ongoing way.

Bring your complaints about someone else to a third person to get coaching on how to raise your concerns. Valuable questions from the coach include:.

Raise your concerns directly with the other person. Reaffirm your commitment to maintaining a good working relationship and find a way to express your fundamental respect for the person. The ladder of inference can be a helpful tool for focusing on the problem.

Start by identifying the data that is the source of your concern. Then spell out the assumptions you made as you observed the data and any feelings you have about the situation.

Finally, articulate your requests for change. During the conversation, remind the other person that reviewing the concern is part of learning to work together better. We can explore these questions; otherwise, I prefer not to listen to your complaints. Systems thinking provides useful tools for surfacing and breaking reinforcing cycles of blame within an organization. In the story below, a group was able to use causal loop diagrams to help them move beyond blame and craft a constructive, long-term solution.

The Information Systems group of a manufacturing plant was meeting to discuss their lack of progress on a large project to overhaul the department.

But when the group mapped out their current situation in a causal loop diagram, they gained a new perspective on the problem. Because rewards for completing urgent requests were heightened, the urgent tasks continued to receive greater attention R2. At the same time, the rewards for and focus on prioritized tasks decreased R1.

After examining the causal loop diagrams, the group realized that they had played a role in the stalled progress on the overhaul project. Although IS team members encouraged each other to blame the PMT, no one in the group had given the PMT feedback concerning the impact of their requests and lack of support.

Armed with a systems view, the group identified several actions they could take to shift these unproductive dynamics.